It is 2 a.m. on the 20th of October, 2025.
After a weekend during which I slept 10 hours (from 2 a.m. to 12 noon on both Saturday and Sunday), after going to bed knowing that I want to get up at 8 a.m. tomorrow (so that I can finish work at 4 p.m. and go out to take photos on the streets of Warsaw), I find that I can’t fall asleep. What do I do in such moments? Fortunately, such moments are rare. Do I start reading a book? Or do I put on my headphones to listen to music? Sometimes I do one or the other. However, I usually close my eyes and try to pay attention to where my thoughts wander. Sometimes I think about my beloved Kamilka, my parents, family, or friends. Sometimes I think about my professional work. Also, sometimes, I start thinking about art, thinking about what I have achieved so far.
Does the lack of commercial success mean my failure?
The answer is clear to me: commercial success is not a measure of success for me, and I consider my activities (primarily street photography, writing, and blogging) to be a success. Am I heading in the right artistic direction? I believe so. My creative direction is not about achieving fame or recognition, but about expressing myself and my experiences through my art. I think the very fact that I am doing what I love already says that I am definitely heading in the right direction. What could I have done better? Perhaps I could have done everything in my life better.
Knowing this, is there really any point in dwelling on the past that’s irretrievable instead of focusing on what I have here and now?
I think it’s worth forgiving myself for the sins and mistakes of the past and, with my head held high (or, more literally, with my head buried in a pillow — after all, it’s 2 a.m.), moving forward through life — as much as possible. I find that I love being alone with my thoughts. Undoubtedly, I am introspective. I love my own company and the discussions going on in my head with myself, imaginary characters, and people I have been lucky enough to meet in my life, whom I would like to greet right now, without exception, and thank for all the moments we have spent together. Good night, my Dear Friend.
