After the Second World War, the capital of Poland arose from the dead. When my Brother died, I felt that part of me also had died. But, similar to the Polish capital, my soul also arose like a Phoenix from the ashes. That’s why I am the Warsaw.
My Brother, Marcin, died in 1994. I was then a 9-year-old boy. When my Brother left this world, I felt that part of me, of my consciousness, had been torn off. After his death, I knew that I would never be the same person as before. I felt that the world would not be similar to the world I knew when my Brother lived. I was sure that all the things would never be the same as they were before.
Marcin died in one of Warsaw’s hospitals. I remember the city in those days.
My first memories regarding the Polish capital are probably those regarding the days when my lovely parents and I were visiting Marcin in the hospital. That was a time when Warsaw was full of faith and hope for me. When Marcin died, Warsaw became, in my imagination, the apocalyptic, raw, hostile, and empty city. Since those times, I both love the capital of Poland and hate this city.
Warsaw had a quite similar history to mine. Regarding dying.
Historians estimate losses in the city’s urban architecture at the beginning of 1945 at around 84%. Both Warsaw and I had a time in life when we were utterly devastated. The capital of Poland before and after the Second World War are two very different cities. My Brother’s death is a similar border that divides my life into two parts. I had various feelings during these two parts. I fell and got up, similarly to the Polish biggest city. That is why I am the Warsaw.
I feel it some hard to explain connections between the city and my imagination. I sometimes think that this city belongs to me in some odd way.
That is why taking photographs on the streets of Warsaw is so important to me. Both Warsaw and I rose from the ashes thanks to the people who loved us. Once again, I would like to write special thanks to my parents who managed to cope with the traumatic situation.
Also, remember: art possesses healing powers. Art creating can also help us in dealing with the traumatic experience.
