Like other people, I also have moments of doubt.
I would say my moments of doubt are somewhat existential. I sometimes doubt my life’s purpose. Perhaps, if I had a child, my moments of doubt regarding my existence would appear rarely. I do not know it. Still, I do not believe parents do not have their own moments of doubt. Perhaps only jesters and fools do not have such moments. What I know is that I am only a human, not a demigod. Sometimes, I wish to be the one, but I will never be. Another thing I know is that I have the right to feel weak and sad.
Even though I do many things, including working in the finance department, doing street photography, fasting, and exposing my body to cold, I know I will have moments of doubt practically in everything I do.
Today (I wrote this text on the 7th of January, 2023), I came back happy after my usual walk in cold temperatures.
How cold was it? It was 5 degrees Celsius (41 degrees Fahrenheit). While taking on Warsaw’s streets, I felt joy. Still, after coming back home, the level of pleasure decreased. Why? I do not know. That’s the way it is. I am only a human. It would be impossible to feel content and happy every day. That’s why, while writing about all these things, I must state that if some worse moments occur, one should accept them.
Of course, when such moments appear every day, we should start to worry about whether depression appeared in our lives. Still, the truth is that I do not have moments of doubt often. They appear, but they have also gone. Recognizing such moments, accepting them, and not trying to move lousy moods to other people is crucial. How happy I am that I live with my beloved Kamilka. I will stop writing this text, hug her, and thank her for everything she gave me.
