Inspired by LEM
Part I
– Fu*k you! – Professor Wilkins shouted to the computer which was tracing and analyzing doings and the history of the machines and people sent back to the past. They were sent back to the past to improve the world.
It is 2800. Professor Wilkins turned to his assistant, Chris Doyle, with fury and anger:
– Where is he? It cannot be that we sent human instead of the cyborg. Moreover, we moved him to the beginning of the XX century. We were supposed to send the robot back to the early days of Mars colonization era. But we sent the human being! Where? To Poland! Poland of the XX century, the country with a rotten stink of communism.
– But, Stanley… – assistant Chris tried to reply with fear in his voice.
– They hibernated Stanley 80 years ago! In the most optimistic version, we will meet him in 20 years. If the family decide to extend the hibernation process, we will not see him until 2850! Stanley is not here!
I repeat the question: Where is the cyborg L.E.M.? Where did you send him? How could this happen?
– We were both trainees. While practicing in sending the cyborgs into the past spacetime, the fatal error appeared. Stanley…
– It does not matter who! SPEAK!
– Our Master, Jefferson, did not secure enough of his software. We got access to his passwords and logins. It was far more exciting than testing the new version of the software. We got to the lab in the evening. Watchman knew us well, so he let us go there. We had vodka, and we got drunk. Moreover, we decided to make a joke. We wanted to send the cyborg to ancient Japan to see and analyze the machine’s influence on Japanese art. We had too much vodka with us. Unluckily, we didn’t choose ancient Japan but XX century Poland. Also, we sent the human, named Stanislaw Lem. What’s worse, we did not send him as a test. By Stanley’s mistake, we used the prototype of cyborg L.E.M., who was supposed to speed up Mars’ colonization process.
– But, the documentation!
To be continued.
