Each time I finish my job in the office, I feel knocked out mentally and physically.
I feel like a knocked-out boxer with no strength left to fight on. The boxer just has to lie down, rest, and sleep to be fit for anything else. I often write about how working in finance gives me independence: financial and artistic. I do not have to worry about my potential clients’ opinions, and I can photograph and write whatever I want. However, working in accounting in the broad sense also has its downsides. It squeezes me dry like a lemon. I often wonder what my creative work would look like without office work (let’s skip the financial aspect for further analysis). Probably, I would certainly have a lot more time.
I could then take photos on the streets of Warsaw every day, write not just one but, for example, several texts a day, and perhaps I would return to writing my “Diaries.”
That’s how it would be in an ideal world, and I’m convinced that the first month could actually be like that. However, I know myself, and contrary to appearances, I am lazy, and I doubt that I could maintain such a pace for a long time. I feel in my bones that after a month, I would return to my old rhythm, and I would spend the surplus on reading books and… well, what else? I don’t know, but I hope that ideas like “I’ll have a beer” wouldn’t pop into my head. For now, I think it’s better to be financially independent, knocked out, have limited time for writing and street photography, and take advantage of the fact that I have so much strength (even after a knockdown), because old age will come sooner or later. I must go to sleep. I feel like a knockdown did its job.
