I wrote the “I hope it won’t break me” text on the 10th of February, 2026.
It was a day when I decided I would go tomorrow to my office job with a rucksack weighing almost 30 kg (66 lbs). Did I get crazy? Perhaps I did. Still, I want to try it. I believe I am ready. The key is walking at a slow pace. I believe that the weight of my backpack won’t be a problem regarding my injury in the right calf, which I got on the 15th of January, 2026. I believe I can “read” my body and what it is signaling to me. Even though I cannot prove it anyhow, I feel that I am right. I will take a risk. Undoubtedly, I will be walking very slowly. That’s the key to not hurting myself. Today, I was able to do street photography in the morning, because I had a doctor’s appointment. I needed two hours to walk to the doctor.
Of course, on my way, I was able to take over 200 photos.
While walking, I was happy like a child. I do not need much to be happy. Walking in the daylight and capturing life’s essence is something that truly excites me. I did not have a heavy rucksack today. After all, after the doctor’s appointment, I had to return to the office. I did not want to sweat. Still, tomorrow I plan to increase the weight of my rucksack, compared to the weight I had a few days ago (24 kg [53 lbs]).
Keep my fingers crossed for me, my Dear Friend. I hope I won’t hurt myself. I hope that the heavy backpack won’t hurt or break me. By doing all these things, I have a feeling that, paradoxically, I am doing good for my injury. After all, the heavy burden on my back and shoulders prevents me from speeding up. Fast pace is the worst enemy for my injury. I simply feel it.
